Most people, even non-golfers, know what “greens” are to golfers. Vegetarians eat greens… and are proud of it. Do you think they fight cravings for greens on the golf course? You can see by the cartoon what would happen if they gave in. How can vegetarians participate in a sport in which the goal is to get a “Birdie” or, better yet, an “Eagle”?
Golf is an interesting culture when you think about it. A culture that portrays itself as a “Gentleman’s sport” but the language of golf says otherwise. Look closely at their language. Doesn’t it make you wonder about people who talk about “Worm-burners”, “Duck hooks”, “Slices”, “Bogeys” and even, “Double Bogeys”? Who are these people?
Golf sounds like a war zone. They talk about “Blasting out of Sand Traps”, “Bunkers” and “Water Hazards”. “Penalty Shots” come up a lot in their conversations and they’re often “Out-of-bounds”. You really can’t trust what they tell you because they talk constantly about their “Good Lies” and “Bad Lies”. They even wear shoes with spikes in them and carry bags full of clubs! Has anyone reported them to Homeland Security?
They DO have “Fairways”, but in my experience, golfers rarely choose to use them, opting instead to go into the “Rough”. What strikes me the most about golfers is their focus. Hang around them after a round of golf and listen to their stories. Regardless of the volume of times they hit worm-burners, duck hooks and slices into the rough, water hazards and sand traps, they have the uncanny ability to focus all the discussion on the one good shot they hit all day. On the other hand, it might not be focus after all, just another of their bad lies…