SHOULD SENIOR SUNSCREEN COME IN FLAVORS?

This cartoon idea came from a conversation between Senior Citizens at the Big Boy restaurant.  It all started when someone said, “As I get older, everything takes longer… even naps!” 

That prompted  one of the wives to tell a story about her husband’s favorite place to nap… the porch swing.  She said he always falls asleep with his mouth open and head leaning backwards at an uncomfortable angle.  Last week, on a particularly warm sunny day, he fell asleep in bright sunlight.  The thought occurred to her that he might get his tongue sunburned.

I couldn’t let it go… I had to draw it!  The next day, when I showed it to them, the conversation then shifted to the possibility of bugs landing in the open mouth.  You know… You really ought to join us for breakfast at Big Boy.  We talk about some really important stuff!

THERE’S A BEAR IN THE BACK YARD!

We had a BIG Black bear in our yard the other day!

I need to tell my side of the story before the other version hits the streets…  We were in our new three season room enjoying a beautiful, sunny afternoon when, to my surprise, I looked out the window and there, not more than ten feet from the window was a huge Black Bear.

We live in the woods in a subdivision in Northern Michigan and have heard the recent stories of bears in the area.  One was captured in downtown Traverse City and another was hit and killed just outside of town a few days later.  So, it’s not like we didn’t think it could happen… But, in OUR YARD?  There it was.  Bigger than life and walking through our backyard toward the front.

That’s when my trouble began… I yelled, “LOOK AT THE BEAR!” and ran to get my camera.  Big mistake.  I didn’t realize the Grandkids were sleeping in the car in the driveway… with the windows open and surrounded by snacks!  The women freaked out.  Grandma called 911 and Mom ran to the front window to see if the bear was approaching the car.  When I realized what was happening, I started out the front door to get myself between the Bear and the kids… to divert him.  Honest!   That was my plan.

The women’s initial response was, “Don’t go out there!  The Bear is out there!”  Then, realizing it might boil-down to either me or the kids being eaten, they relented and let me go out.  The Bear was no where in sight.  My yell had evidently spooked him and we found out later, he ran through the neighbor’s yard across the street and into the woods behind their house.

The 911 operator said there was nothing they would do unless the Bear was threatening or being a nuisance… and, next time, don’t call them.  Call the Department of Natural Resources or Animal Control.  I wonder what we’re supposed to do if the Bear is armed?

The cartoon is a result of the unjust criticism I got for my initial response to grab a camera instead of trying to save the kids.  For days now I’ve been taking flak for my response.  The mother of the children is afraid to walk in the area because “We don’t know where the Bear is…”.  I suggested if she really wanted to know where the bear was all she had to do is smear some bacon grease on the kids, send them outside and wait.  She’d soon know if there was a bear in the area… That response didn’t go over any better than my first one.  What’s wrong with these women, anyway?

Who needs HD-TV?

The other day at Big Boy, we were discussing HD-TVs.  The cartoon is a result of that conversation.

Judging by the ads, HD-TV is something you can’t live without.  I vaguely remember (a re-occurring problem these days…) a saying that came up a lot to explain something that didn’t meet technological expectations.  “Garbage in-Garbage out” was all they had to say.  You knew what they meant.  The quality received was limited by the method used to get the information in the system…  You couldn’t get any better results than the level of garbage put in.

As  Senior Citizens with less than perfect eyesight, doesn’t it stand to reason the picture is not going to be any clearer than the weakest link… our eyesight?  Is “High-Definition Blurry” better than “plain old blurry”?

Having done extensive research  (I control the remote),  I’ve come to the conclusion it’s not high-definition that makes it look better… It’s the size of the screen!  They’ve figured out that Senior Citizens already own magnifying glasses… wear them, actually.  Getting them to  pay hundreds of dollars for larger magnifying glasses to watch TV was going to be a tough sell.  It was easier to make the TV’s larger and call them High-Definition than to sell us bigger magnifying glasses!  Not to mention the liability hazard caused when the Senior fell asleep watching TV and was crushed by his magnifying glass!

So, there you have it…  We’re on to them.  You can’t fool us old guys with that marketing fast talk.  We know what’s going down.  We’ll show them!  We’re holding out until they make a full-wall TV that can be viewed from three feet.  If you have to watch “HD-Blurry”, make it REALLY BIG!

SAVE THE WHALES

I am fascinated by Bumper Stickers.  Every known (and unknown) cause is represented by a bumper sticker… somewhere.

What I find most interesting about the myriad of bumper stickers is the play on words often used to get the point across.  Now, I know “Save the Whales” is not a play on words and is a very legitimate cause.  One I believe in.  However, having been raised in a very conservative, Fundamental Christian household, whenever I hear the word “Save” it reminds me of sermons past.

The cartoon is an obvious blend of the two concepts.

On the other hand, maybe Rev. Brown is actually an angel and he’s speaking to Jonah…before he “saw the light”.  You know… one of those modern translations.

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CHEAP TOUR…NORWEGIAN STYLE.

A few years ago, we had the opportunity to travel to Norway and stay two weeks with our Norwegian friends, Ivar and Astrid, who live outside of Oslo.  As a typical American, I have trouble speaking English, much less understanding Norwegian.  Fortunately for us, most Europeans speak English as a second language… With a “foreign” accent, of course!  (Isn’t it interesting how we, as Americans, deem everything is foreign, no matter where we are?)

Ivar, who was a high-ranking government official, spoke fluid English but with that darn “foreign” accent!  Being from the Midwest, I have trouble understanding people with accents from other areas of the U.S…. this Norwegian accent really threw me for a loop.

One of the things we got to do was take day trips around the countryside with our local tour guides.  What a wonderful experience!  Norway must be one of the most beautiful countries on Earth.

In the rural areas, it was not uncommon to have to stop for free-ranging flocks of sheep in the roadway.  Ivar explained they have the right-of-way by law and each sheep has an ear tag with a serial number on it.  If you are unfortunate enough to hit and kill a sheep, you are obligated by Federal Law to report the accident, notify the owner and pay for the sheep.  It’s an honor system that works well with few problems.

Ivar also liked a “good deal”.  As we waded through the maze of the Norwegian monetary system and tried to figure out the rate of exchange, he would tell us if it was a good deal… or, as he would say: “It’s really cheap!”  Here’s where the foreign accent got me in trouble.   “Sheep” and “Cheap” sounded identical to me.  Often I would have to stop and determine the context to decide which word he had used.  We had some good laughs over the problem.

Ivar loved cartoons and took me to a museum in Oslo featuring the artwork of a famous Norwegian cartoonist.  It was really fun and informative.  Before we left to come back to the U.S., I drew him this cartoon.  It seemed to sum up the problem.  To this day, I never hear the words “cheap” or “Sheep” without thinking about our friends in Norway.  It  was one of the most memorable experiences in my life.  If you get the chance to go to Norway, don’t miss it!  It’s an incredible place you’ll never forget.