Sometimes, it’s all about timing…I was driving in the country one day and saw a herd of goats in the barnyard. They were doing what goats do… butting each other.
A short time later, I noticed a cut-out of a figure bending over in a flower bed… a rear view, of course. You’ve seen them. They’re everywhere. Naturally, I thought of the goats and pictured what they would do if temptation reared its, uh, ugly head…so-to-speak.
I’m no goat expert, but it seems to me they have no resistance to temptation!… No butts about it!
Jim, a regular at Big Boy, got a new dog…”Wilson”. Jim, a retired GM guy, drives a Cadillac Escalade with every option known to man. One day, in the dead of Winter, I was walking by Jim’s Escalade and it started. Now, you have to understand what was happening… Jim takes Wilson with him almost everywhere he goes. At the Big Boy, he backs into his parking place so he can see Wilson and Wilson can see him.
It’s cold in Northern Michigan in the Winter, so Jim uses his remote starter to periodically turn up the heat for Wilson… Not that Wilson is in any danger of freezing to death! Jim has a sheepskin-lined, raised bed between the bucket seats in front so Wilson can see out and also covers him in a warm blanket. Often, all you can see is Wilson’s nose peeking out.
I realized immediately what was happening when Jim’s car started and commented to him inside that “That has to be the world’s most expensive dog warmer!” “Yeah,” was his reply, “and it’s burning Premium gas!”
Well, I couldn’t let that go! I thought of the next “logical” step for Jim to pamper Wilson and drew this cartoon. For the record, Jim still hasn’t gotten a motor home for Wilson. Animal Rights Activists… relax! Wilson doesn’t seem to be suffering in the Escalade.
The problem with taking your cell phone with you...
The Seniors at Big Boy Restaurant in Traverse City solve a lot of problems… every day! On one particular day, one of the regulars announced he planned to take his cell phone with him after he died so he could “keep in touch with my kids.”.
Naturally, the discussion then centered on the logistics of how he could keep his battery charged, etc. As I reflected on the conversation, I had a mental image of his gravesite and how it would look to make his cell phone operational. The next logical step in the thought process was to think about how it all might work. Anyone with a cell phone should relate to the problem.
When I was young, I used to give my bald-headed Dad a hard time. My observation that he could part his hair with a towel was not well received.
I remember when he and a long-time friend would debate why some men get gray hair and others, like my Dad, go bald. Both were college professors and had their own theories based on their own condition. Dad argued that a person went bald because when the roots of the hair got deep due to age, the richness of the “Grey Matter” would burn the roots and the hair would fall out. His friend, who had a full head of snow- white hair would respond with, “No, when a person goes bald it’s because the roots go down and find nothing and die of malnutrition. On the other hand, if the roots strike rich Grey Matter, it causes the hair to bleach out!” This discussion went on for several years in good-natured fun, each feeling they had won the debate.
Now that I have inherited my Dad’s hair “style”, I lean toward his explanation. As I aged and my hair disappeared, I started asking my barber why he charged me the same as people with a full head of hair. I felt I should get a discount. He explained, in my case he couldn’t give me a discount because in actuality, he should be charging a “Finder’s Fee”. I think I know how my Dad felt…
The standard line barbers use for bald guys when they get a haircut is to say: “A little off the top?”… Knowing full well that’s their only option. Shortly after a visit to “The Tonsorial Parlor”, a local barber shop, I happened to see a group of teenagers in the Mall and one of them had a really tall Mohawk haircut. He also had three rings in each ear. I thought to myself, “Now, there’s a guy that could take “a little off the top” and no one would notice!
I drew this cartoon and took it to the Tonsorial Parlor where it is on display. They no longer ask if I want a little off the top. I just got my hair cut (both of them) and this time was asked, “Would you like me to trim your nose hairs?” Do women get asked these kinds of questions when they go to the beauty shop?
I recently met an incredibly talented engineer, Rick Steele. He has invented the ultimate tool for every guy’s toolbox… The TAPE WRANGLER, a DUCT TAPE DISPENSER!!! …http://tapewrangler.com/FAQ_1.html.
Let’s face it… Guys LOVE Duct Tape! Of all the amazing inventions over the ages, duct tape has to rank right near the top in importance to civilization. Any guy knows there’s very few problems that duct tape can’t solve. Unfortunately, women don’t get it…
After I met him and got my very own Tape Wrangler, I got to thinking about the importance of it and what is sure to be a landslide of new companion products featuring duct tape. I also knew that women might not understand the importance of this new break-through, so I drew a cartoon depicting one of the many opportunities men will now have to please the woman in their lives. I can hardly wait for the next thing to break!
Sometimes, it’s all about timing…I was driving in the country one day and saw a herd of goats in the barnyard. They were doing what goats do… butting each other.
