Years ago, I drew this drawing of a “Bald” Eagle after going to the U.S. Post Office and seeing posters with the American Bald Eagle promoting Priority Mail.
That got me thinking about eagles and why they were called bald… Being “Hair Impaired” myself, I wondered if male Bald Eagles lost the feathers on the top of their heads when they got old. Why else would we call them BALD eagles? Men with white hair aren’t called bald. We usually refer to them as “distinguished” or something like that. I know what bald is… it’s when you trade in your hairline for a head-line.
When my Dad was a college professor, he had a colleague who had snow white hair. My Dad, on the other hand, could part his hair with a towel… if you know what I mean. They had an ongoing discussion about why some people have baldness and others have a full head of white hair. As you might expect from people in Academia, it was an intellectual conversation based upon scientific research. Or, so they claimed.
Each came to a very different conclusion, depending on their own personal and, of course, unbiased research. My Dad’s friend claimed hair turned white when the roots of the hair went down and hit gray matter so rich it bleached out the color. My DAD would then counter with his theory. White hair, in his research, was caused when the roots went into gray matter so weak there were no nutrients present and the hair dried up and turned white. Dad said baldness was caused by hair roots getting into gray matter so rich it burned out the roots and made the hair fall out.
From my perspective, it’s pretty obvious my Dad was right. So I decided to set the record straight. There is a massive Federal Cover-up going on! Why do they insist on putting pictures of white-headed eagles and calling them BALD? It is all about gray matter. Some white-haired, grey matter-weakened bureaucrat in Washington called a white-feathered eagle bald. To make matters worse, he spelled “Male” wrong. Lets set the record straight! If the American symbol is the Bald Eagle, show it like it is… BALD! Correct the spelling! It’s “Priority MALE”.
Bald IS beautiful, you know.